


All or Muffin

by KaijuusAndKryptids



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Pranks, Shenanigans, Student Council
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaijuusAndKryptids/pseuds/KaijuusAndKryptids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Junior Year and it's time for Student Body Elections. Jane wants to be president. Dirk wants to be president. They run their own campaigns. This might just be a breaking point in their friendship. The pranks get out of hand, they give their all to win. But who will come out on top?</p>
            </blockquote>





	All or Muffin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theskyshouldbeviolet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskyshouldbeviolet/gifts).



> I love Lame puns (sorry but not sorry)
> 
> I hope you like it! I used your request as the outline hah, so there's not really that much different or surprising, sorry. Depending on your interpretation, theres some Jane/Roxy but theres not any overt romance here hehe

It’s Junior Year and Jane Crocker can feel the morning get even brighter, the sky even bluer, and the pancakes even fluffier! Munching away on her breakfast, she’s practically thrumming with excitement for the following year. After keeping a steady 3.9 GPA the last two years combined, she feels like she might be able to relax a little this year and do something she’s been wanting to do since middle school; Student Council. She knows what needs to change, and especially after combining ideas with her three friends; She definitely knows where to start. School lunch is insufferable, and now she’s determined to change it this year. With the support of her close knit family-away-from-home, Jane can conquer anything.

Well, anything except start-of-school jitters. She still feels that anxious tremble in her lower lip when she approaches the hard concrete walls of Skaia High School. There’s an edge to the jitters though, a steely determination to be the change this school needs! Once she tells her friends about her plans to be president, and gets their affirmation and help to run she’ll hit her stride. She knows it.

Jane finally spots Roxy’s decked out varsity jacket through a string of students and makes her way over to her. As she emerges from the crowd, she spots all of her friends. Fantastic! _Now just to tell them about my plans hehe!_ She sits down comfortably at their usual outdoor table next to Jake just as he finishes regaling one of his usual amazing summer adventures to the two blondes.

“Oh! Jane, there you are! You just missed the gondola crash. Now what was I saying again? Oh yeah, And THEN after the **last** helicopter left for the weekend, I had to scavenge for food to last a few days, but while I was scavenging I stumbled across an old man with an absolutely gammy leg! So I gave ‘im some first aid and water, and what do you know? It turns out he’s the _missing president_!” Jake says with an exceptionally theatric flourish. Dirk perks up a little as if he’s just remembered something important.

“Oh actually dude, that totally reminds me; I’m gonna be running for Stu-Co prez this year!”

Wait, what?

“Dirk, I thought you hated stu-co?” Jane tries to keep a bitter tone out of her normally sweet voice. Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. Maybe that means something else in Texas?

“Well, I only hated the douches who were running it, but my robotics advisor was tellin me how I’d be a good fit and could really change things here, so why not right?” He says with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, so it isn’t a misunderstanding. _He’s doing this on purpose isn’t he? No, no don’t be irrational. It’s not like I told anyone else that I was planning on running._ Jane sighs. Once she gets over her initial shock, she smiles sugary-sweet an nods emphatically. _But that doesn’t mean I won’t try._

“Oh, well funny you mention that, because I was actually thinking of running for president this year.”

Dirk reels a little in shock, but bounces back quickly enough to gush, “Aw Janey, that’s awesome! We’ll be like, rivals.” Jane giggles in response. She resists the urge to rub her hands together, but she does smirk. _It will be awesome… When I crush you at the race._

And thus Jane gets up and waves to her friends as she skips off to class.

_Now to organize my plan of attack._

Twenty-four hours later, Jane Crocker walks into school with a wagon of cupcakes and pies all carefully iced with a crisp blue ‘Vote for Jane’ vanilla buttercream. She flashes her signature eye-smile and hands every student she passes a cupcake.

“Vote Jane for student body President!” She says with a bright smile. Rounding the corner, she bumps into Dirk putting up a simple orange campaign poster.

“Cupcake?” She offers.

He holds one up and nervously chuckles at the writing on it. “Aw no fair Janey. Your cooking is to die for! I couldn’t compete with that.”

 _That’s the goal._ She thinks but curtsies at her tall blonde friend. “I’m sure that’s not true. You’re good at plenty of things, Dirk.” She pats his arm as she continues down the hall with her wagon trailing behind her.

“Yeah, but what?” he muses to himself. _The only thing I’m equally good at is robotics and- wait that’s it!_ Dirk rushes to the robotics lab immediately to begin preparations. _Take that Janey!_

Dirk struts into the hall with his robot look-alike trailing behind him. He takes a peek at the clock mounted on the wall of the courtyard. _In T-Minus five, lunch will begin, and so will my campaign._ He takes in a deep breath, and slowly ekes the air out through his nose counting down the time. Sitting down at his usual table, he watches the clock. At the ring of the lunch bell, he gives HAL his command.

HAL immediately jumps into action turning on the drones to fly in formation above the quickly flooding hallways. An orange printed Arial ‘Dirk for President’ banner flaps behind each hovering drone.

Dirk’s apprehension fades as he hears the chorus of ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s and an occasional ‘whoa’. He can’t help but feel a little bubble of pride in his heart when he sees Jane march up to him. She smacks HAL’s hand away from her as she blows past him and tsks at Dirk.

“Is this even safe, Dirk? I mean, come on!” she huffs. Dirk just shrugs in response.

“Gotta play the game, Janey. If I’m going to win, I gotta do what I gotta do.”

“If, indeed Dirk.” Jane puts on a tight smile, and Dirk knows if this was an anime she’d be steaming out the ears. They both nod in mutual understanding that this means war.

Jane moseys off and Dirk stalks off in the opposite direction. Jake meets Roxy’s eyes and by the look on her face, he knows this won’t end well. Roxy waves him off as she goes to meet with the English advisor, and Jake can only hope for the best as he goes to his gym class.

They wish they were wrong. Jake walks into school the next day to see all the telltale orange posters of Dirk’s campaign have been vandalized by blue moustache cut outs. “Bloody hell.” He murmurs at the sight. This is too far. He thinks as he rounds the corner to see Jane in all her baking prowess, handing out more elaborate cupcakes than yesterday. He opens his mouth to get her attention, when her remaining cupcakes start exploding.

One by one until she’s standing in the middle of a frosted mountain of rubble. Dirk pops his head out of a nearby classroom and lilts, “You sure that’s safe Janey?” The light glints off his sunglasses as he fails to conceal a snicker.

“Oh very classy Dirk. Laugh it up.” She grumbles. Dirk perks up as he spots Jake.

“Oh! Jake, my main man! My Homeslice!”

“Oh no.” he whispers. Not that Dirk or Jane had heard him.

“Jakey, my dude, you’re voting for me, right?” Dirk drawls. Jake only has time to make an unintelligible noise before Jane cuts him off.

“No, no you’re voting for me. We’re cousins afterall.”

Dirk marches up to Jane and towers over her, using his full height advantage. “Jake is voting for _me_.”

“ _Me_.” She shoots back.

Their childish bickering intensifies as Jake now must yell to be heard over them. “I’m not voting for either of you!” Well, at least he has their attention now. “You’re both my friends, and I won’t see you pitting yourselves against each other over a bloody rivalry!” With a glare at both of them he stomps a retreat to his first class. Jane blinks the surprise away and Dirk rearranges his sunglasses on his face. Jane squints in Dirk’s direction as she follows Jake’s lead and goes to class.

* * *

Election day. Jane and Dirk walk up to the front doors side by side, not a single word uttered between them. Dirk opens the door for both of them, a southern gentleman. Jane nods her appreciation. They continue to the gym side by side, passing under all the softball championship banners to the side of the stands.

“Dirk.” Jane starts, her eye smile twinkling with confidence. “You were a worthy opponent.”

Dirk curtsies. “You put up a good fight, Janey. May the better candidate win.”

“Indeed.” Jane responds, just as the principal finishes his introduction to the event. Jane and Dirk lean forward in anticipation of the announcement. One of their names is to be called, and they both strain to hear the telltale consonant of D or J to pass the principal’s chapped lips.

“Skaia High School’s 2016-2017 Student Council President, as voted by the student body is,” He peels back the tape and unfolds the square with the fate of Skaia High written upon it. “Captain of the reigning champion Softball team, **Roxy Lalonde!** ”

Uproarious applause erupts throughout the stands as Roxy pads up to the microphone; her pink streaked blonde bob swishing as she goes. “I would just like to thank all of Skaia for their continual support of our softball team, and for allowing me to apply my softball leadership abilities to running the student body council.” She waves to the cheering crowd.

Jane is slack jawed. Dirk leans the full weight of his body against Jane and asks, “Did you know she was running?” Jane can only shake her head. It does make sense. She’s a fantastic leader. When their ace pitcher broke her arm just before the semifinals, she put her all into training their backup pitcher and even pushed herself to improve pitching for the finals. Exactly the kind of involved, 100 or nothing girl student council needs.

Jane giggles once. Then again, and again until she’s laughing herself silly. Dirk raises an eyebrow. Now she’s leaning on him for support.

“I can’t help but feel silly for how competitive I was! I am so sorry, Dirk!” Now Dirk laughs a little, as he remembers just how intense he was over the position.

“Golly Jane, I’m sorry too.” They both watch Roxy accept more praise and honors by the president and the student body cabinet. “She really is perfect for the position.” Dirk muses. Jane nods in agreement. They both offer Roxy their earnest congratulations. Dirk and Jane watch Roxy and Jake depart and look at each other.

“Well, since neither of us is busy, movie night at my house?” Jane offers. Dirk shrugs and slings an arm around Jane’s shoulders as they make their way to Jane’s one story house a block away from school. Jane bakes her signature white chocolate chip cookies as Dirk and her recount all their wacky shenanigans and laugh at each other’s embellishments. Even if she didn’t win this year, Jane can’t find it in her to complain. The sky is still blue and her cookies are just the right amount of soft, and she’s still got her close friends to hang out with.


End file.
